


Sleepless Nights

by SapphireSoul102



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, Attempted Seduction, Canon Era, Declarations Of Love, Denial of Feelings, Fear of Rejection, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Master/Servant, Oral Sex, POV First Person, Realization, Romance, Seduction, Sexual Confusion, Sexual Tension, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2014-05-14
Packaged: 2018-01-24 17:02:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1612649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireSoul102/pseuds/SapphireSoul102
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ciel Phantomhive is confused about his feelings. Sebastian helps him realize the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"S-Sebastian…"  
  
A feeble whisper, that's all I can manage, as I gaze into those gleaming, crimson pools. I'm hypnotized, captured by his gaze, his low, seductive voice… when I awoke this morning, I never imagined I would end up like this by nightfall, helplessly writhing under a demon when I can order him to stop at any moment, all I can think of is how wrong it this is, how my pride is disintegrating, and how I need to stop, but the pleasure… oh, it's just too amazing to refuse… I can't speak, can't object… his whole being engulfs me; his eyes, his lips, his body, everything... and then I... I slip away, I let him take me...  
  
I've never felt such intense pain or intoxicating pleasure in my life, and all my teary eyes can focus on are his glowing, ruby depths and the passion burning in them… I don't know exactly what's happening, but at this moment, it… it feels so right, being this close to him, feeling his skillful hands caress every inch of my body. I melt into this moment; the intimate contact of our bodies warms my entire being, sends a wave of bliss through me. I've never felt like this before...  _Wait_  –my heart skips a beat, my cheeks burn–  _is… is this how it feels… to be in love?_  
  
"Young master... Young master...?" Sebastian's voice echoes from afar, pulling me back to reality. My eyes flutter open and I recognize the soft glow of candlelight. I realize I'm lying on the floor, once again, but I'm too drowsy to react to my position. Sebastian's gloved hand gently strokes a bump on my damp forehead, and when my eyes fully adjust to the lighting, I'm caught by his enchanting gaze. Reflections of the flickering flames dance across his eyes as he speaks to me. "Oh, young master..." he says in a subtly patronizing tone, the kind that would normally be addressed with a glare, "This is the third time you've fallen out of bed this week, and this time you've managed to bump your head on the nightstand..." He scoops me up effortlessly. I don't resist. I never do... I'd never admit it to him, but I love it when Sebastian holds me like this, cradling me in his arms. He's so warm...  
  
"You really must be more careful, my lord," he coos softly as he lays me on the bed.  _He has such a soothing voice_ , I think to myself, gingerly fingering the tender bump on my forehead as he drapes a light blanket over me, and then another, more unsettling thought comes to mind.  _Wait... what the hell? Why am I naked?!_   I feel my eyebrow twitch with embarrassment and aggravation as the sheet settles against my bare skin, but then I feel Sebastian's hot breath in my ear. It all but sedates me. "Your dreams must be quite  _stimulating_ , to make you so restless as to strip in your sleep and fall out of bed, young master," he whispers. I see a devious smirk tug at the corners of his mouth as he tries to resist it. Sebastian sees my body every day, but I'm always fully conscious of what he sees when he undresses me or bathes me.  
  
At this moment, though, I'm so unaware, so vulnerable, so exposed...  
  
"Goodnight, young master," I hear him say in a faint whisper. His silken voice makes my body quiver with a strange mix of apprehension, curiosity, and a feeling that's been haunting me for months now, one I can't quite identify... I watch as he swiftly picks up the candelabra and takes a step toward the doorway. I can't let him leave. Not now. "Sebastian... wait..." the words catch in my throat, but he still hears them. "Yes, my lord?" he says gently, turning to look at me. I stare into his eyes and move my lips in an unsuccessful attempt to speak. He simply sets the candelabra on my nightstand and sits at the edge of my bed. I can feel the warmth radiating from his body. "Sebastian, I..." My hands clench the sheet like a vise as my stubborn pride desperately fights the urge to wrap my arms around him, pull him close to me, submit to my unholy desires. "Sebastian..." I lower my head, defeated; a wave of shame overcomes me for wanting my butler in such an erogenous way.  
  
_He must know_ , I think to myself,  _he must know how I feel..._  That's when I sense a slight shift of my bed and look up out of curiosity. I immediately wish I hadn't. Sebastian's skin is glistening with sweat in the candlelight; the top of his shirt is now unbuttoned, exposing his smooth, ghostly pale skin. He enticingly pulls off a glove with his teeth, looking me right in the eyes while he does it. I bite my lip to remind myself of how wrong it is to feel this way for a man, but then I feel his fingertips caress my cheek. He smiles gently and says "Young master, is something troubling you?" I nod, lowering my gaze to avoid his naturally seductive expression. He is a demon, after all...  
  
Sebastian gently tilts my head up so I have no choice but to meet his entrancing stare. My di-colored eyes melt when they connect with his, which now emit a passionate, haunting glow. "I hope you understand... how much you mean to me, my lord. I wish to please you in any way you desire..." he coos, leaning in closer. "All you have to do is say the word and I can make all of your uncertainty disappear, transform it into something  _wonderful_..." Sebastian has such an eloquently persuasive way with words that I almost let myself go. Then I remind myself once again that he's a demon, a being whose purpose is to lure one's soul into the darkness, and at this moment, he's doing just that.  
  
I feel my heart racing, and all I want to do is pull him closer to me, but I shouldn't want this, he shouldn't make me feel this way. "Young master..." Sebastian pauses, reads my expression. I look away before I make an irrevocable mistake. I flinch when I feel his bare hand rest gently upon mine. "Forgive me for being so blunt, my lord, but are you confused... about your sexuality? You've been acting strangely for quite some time now." The blush burning my cheeks betrays me; there's no point in lying now. We both know he's right. "Y-yes...." I whimper, not daring to look into his captivating eyes again. But after a long silence, I can't help myself. I look up and see the slightest smile creep across his lips.  
  
"Young master..." Sebastian leans in even closer, mere inches from my face. "Would you like me to satisfy your curiosity, my lord?"  _Se-Sebastian, what are you doing?_  Our lips are so close to touching. I can barely breathe. All I can think of is what I should do to stop this from happening, but instead I find myself pulling him toward me until his body is pressed against mine. I watch his eyes close as he leans in to kiss me. I can feel myself slipping deeper into his trap. Then he utters the most erotic sound I've ever heard in my life. " _Master..._ " His fingers interlace with my hair. He's practically on top of me. I can taste his hot breath. I want him so badly...  
  
What happens next is difficult to explain. I snap out of my dreamlike state for a millisecond, but it's enough for a shred of sanity to emerge. I want him, my body wants him, but my pride just won't allow him to take me.  _Not yet, at least..._  my subconscious whispers in the back of my mind. I shove him away with all my strength before I have time to change my mind. I clench the sheets and stare scornfully at my crotch, which contradicts my words. "Leave... now..." He simply looks at me in surprise and bewilderment. I glare into his eyes and scream. "Get out, Sebastian! That's an order!" He somehow regains his perfect-butler composure and his glowing, vermilion eyes return to their neutral crimson. He bows respectfully. "Forgive me, my lord. I was under the impression that you wanted this, but I was clearly mistaken. I apologize for my inappropriate advances. It will not happen again."  
  
Sebastian takes the candelabra, strides out the door, and leaves me in the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

_What... just happened?_  I blink several times. My mind and body are completely out of sync.  _I feel so strange..._  I sit on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands, trying to make sense of this predicament.  _What the hell was that? Was it all a twisted dream? Am I still dreaming? Is this just my unconscious imagination running wild in my sleep? It couldn't have been real... Or did Sebastian slip something in my tea that's making me delusional...?_  I contemplate these and other thoughts as I slide off my bed. My heart rate begins to return to normal as I convince myself that what just happened wasn't reality, and if it was, it's somehow Sebastian's fault.  
  
Beads of sweat drip off my face as I squint in the stagnant darkness surrounding me. Feeling disoriented, I take a tentative step forward with outstretched hands as I search for my nightstand; Sebastian always leaves a glass of water there before bed, though I'm not quite sure why. Sometimes I don't even notice the little, unnecessary things he does for me every day.  
  
I take another step in pursuit of my drink and feel something soft under my foot. It feels oddly familiar... I pick up the unseen object and recognize it immediately, as I've felt it against my skin so many times, and that's when I realize that what happened wasn't a dream. In my hand is Sebastian's glove, the one he pulled off with his teeth and carelessly tossed on the floor not long ago.  _Before I ordered him out..._  My subconscious reminds me.  
  
I hold the glove up to my face and breathe in the subtle aroma of Sebastian. I bite my lip and cringe at the euphoria welling up inside me, induced only by the faint trace of his scent.  _Maybe I should have let him stay..._  Blood rushes through my body, finding its way to my growing erection. I snap myself out of this rapturous daze.  _Dammit, you're not supposed to want him like this! What the hell is wrong with you?!_  I mentally scold myself, but then I notice that I'm still inhaling the last trace of fragrance on Sebastian's glove.  _My God... am I really that infatuated with him?_  I shudder at the thought, but realize it's true.  
  
Confused and frustrated, I blindly feel around for the nightstand and end up accidentally knocking the glass of water on the floor. The dull thud of the glass landing at my feet echoes throughout the silence of the room. I feel the cold liquid being soaked into the carpet under my toes. Disappointment fills me; the air is so hot and dry in here. I'm absolutely parched, but I'm too dejected to care at this point. I listlessly climb onto the bed, collapse on my pillow, and lie there with Sebastian's abandoned glove pressed against my lips.  
  
My mind wonders endlessly as I drift between consciousness and sleep for at least an hour or so. And it just won't stop. I finally can't take it anymore and jolt out of bed to pace back and forth in the darkness. I try to think about something else and ignore these persistent feelings but realize that I can't go on like this... I can't keep denying the obvious. I can't refute it anymore... I have to admit it, as wrong as it may be. I sit on the edge of my bed and hold Sebastian's glove against my cheek. "I... I want my butler. I want Sebastian. I want Sebastian…."  
  
A knock on my door startles me, ending my pitiful self-confession. Sebastian turns the doorknob and enters swiftly, like always.  _Speak of the devil..._  I think to myself as I quickly yank the sheets to cover my nakedness, dropping my butler's glove in the process. Sebastian approaches the bed carrying a tray with an empty glass, a pitcher of water, and the same candelabra that illuminated my room earlier. He sets the candelabra on the nightstand, raises the pitcher of water, and fills the elegantly shaped glass. "Ah, you're still awake, my lord. I would've come as soon as I heard your glass fall to the floor, but I wasn't sure if you would be agitated by my presence, after what happened."  
  
He presents the glass on the silver tray before me and I snatch it eagerly, gulping it down without hesitation. I gasp for breath before practically shoving the empty glass toward him, silently demanding a refill. I raise the newly filled glass to my lips when I notice the peculiar smile on Sebastian's face. "And what the hell are you smirking at?" I snap at him. I sip my water as I glare at him suspiciously. He sets the pitcher on the nightstand and turns to face me. His eyes have changed; the color now resembles that of smoldering embers. "Like I've already told you, my lord, I only wish to please you, and I myself take great pleasure in doing so," he says in a silken tone. "It is a butler's duty to ensure the satisfaction and contentment of his master, and that is what I strive to do, always." Sebastian bows slightly, holding the tray at his side.  
  
I try to ignore this blatant display of his willingness to please, sipping my water and turning my head to stare at a random spot on the wall.  _I swear he's doing this on purpose... just to provoke me..._  The sound of the silver tray being set on the nightstand draws my attention. I turn and blush when I notice Sebastian kneeling at my feet. I swallow a mouthful of water nervously as I wait for him to proceed. Sebastian looks up at me and smiles, almost amorously. He takes the half empty glass from my hand and sets it on the nightstand, then gently clasps his gloved hands around mine. His eyes slowly brighten as he gazes up at me. "Is there anything else I can do for you, my lord?" he asks politely. My cheeks feel hot and I break away from his gaze once again.  _God, this is so embarrassing..._  
  
"Well, I… there's something… I've been wanting to ask you…" I begin. I take a deep breath and hesitate, suddenly finding it impossible to speak. A million thoughts flow through my brain as I think of what to say, but before I can find the right words, Sebastian breaks the silence. "You know you can ask me anything, master…" he coos in an eerily seductive tone. He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it gently. I cringe at the affectionate gesture; he knows exactly how to make me blush, how to expose my weaknesses with the simplest of actions. "Se-Sebastian..." I whisper, watching him leave a trail of soft kisses on my skin. "I thought you said… this wouldn't happen a—" My voice fails me as I succumb to the unfamiliar yet wonderful sensation of his lips caressing my skin. "Sebastian..." I'm utterly hypnotized by the demon kneeling before me.  
  
Sebastian looks up at me, his crimson eyes glowing with unapologetic lust. He's not even trying to hide it anymore. "Forgive me,  _master_ …" he says with a smirk, "but is it truly so unfitting for a butler to display his unwavering devotion to his precious little lord? And besides..." Sebastian kisses my hand again as he gazes into my eyes. "You seem to be enjoying it," he teases. My cheeks are burning with embarrassment, but I still don't make the slightest effort to stop him. My self-proclaimed need to resist Sebastian fades away with each sweet kiss. I close my eyes and lose myself in this moment, not caring what's right or wrong anymore.  
  
Sebastian's finally broken the last stubborn obstacle standing between us: my pride.  
  
I'm in such a daze that I don't even realize Sebastian stopped kissing my hand until I feel his lips press against mine. A wave of tingling bliss comes over me as I melt into the kiss, wrapping my arms around Sebastian's neck and running my fingers through his hair. Much to my disappointment, however, Sebastian ends the sweet moment all too soon. I open my eyes and see a lustful smirk on his face. "Now what was it you wanted to ask me, master?"


	3. Chapter 3

My mouth drops open in utter disbelief.  _Are you serious?! Teasing bastard..._  I automatically give Sebastian a questioning glare, my face burning with discomposure and embarrassment.  _What a way to ruin a moment..._   I subconsciously sneer at him. Sebastian responds to my reaction with an amorous smile that makes my blush darken. He lightly strokes my cheek with the back of his gloved hand while the other caresses my lower back, and my body melts as his fingers trace small circles on my skin. Normally I would snap at Sebastian for being such a damn tease, but in this euphorically delirious state my initial reaction quickly fades away. He's broken me with a simple touch, and there's nothing I can do about it.  
  
"Sebastian..." I murmur weakly. My expression softens as I run my fingers through Sebastian's smooth, black hair. I decide that it's easier to just answer his question. "Well… I was going to ask if there's something terribly wrong with me for… being attracted to you, but now I don't very much care." I smile shyly at him, relieved that I've made my confession without fainting. Now that I think about it, this is the first genuine smile that's graced my lips since longer than I can remember. I forgot how wonderful it feels to be truly happy....  
  
This wistful moment quickly passes as Sebastian's gentle smile transforms into a devious grin before my eyes, demanding my attention. "I'm glad you've finally embraced your feelings, master." His eyes are ablaze with excitement, making my heart pound with anticipation and a twinge of fear.  _Finally? Dammit, he's known about this the whole time, but he still waited for me to admit it..._  I ponder this for only a second, but it's long enough for Sebastian to notice. "Is something wrong, my lord? Feeling a bit nervous, perhaps?" Sebastian inquires teasingly as he steps back to unbutton his tailcoat; he does so with such swiftness that by the time it hits the floor, he's already slipped off his tie and unfastened half the buttons on his dress shirt, his fiery gaze never leaving mine.  _Holy hell..._  My mouth goes dry and I swallow hard.  _He's right. I am nervous..._  
  
Sebastian's pristinely white garment joins his coat in a disheveled pile before I can answer. I attempt to compose myself and fail miserably. "N-no, I'm just getting... impatient..." I reply shakily, biting down on my lip in an effort to restrain myself. The urge to reach out to touch him as he strips in front of me is becoming unbearable.  _Oh... I'm getting so hard..._ I fidget anxiously, watching Sebastian pull off his gloves and drop them on the floor, then remove his shoes and socks. He raises an eyebrow at me and smiles as he unfastens the button on his trousers, looking rather amused as I writhe with desire.  _Oh my... he's gorgeous..._ The candlelight illuminates his toned muscles, pale skin, and inhumanly handsome face. I drink in the glorious sight of him. He's almost naked, and my breath hitches as my overwhelmed senses attempt to take in his splendor.  
  
I gaze up at Sebastian, dazed with desire as he takes a step closer and runs his fingers through my hair. His blazing eyes flash brighter when we touch, his expression full of longing, paralyzing me.  _Holy shit..._ Sebastian smiles sensually, and I instinctively sink down onto the bed as he leans in even closer, his glowing eyes hypnotizing me into submission. Sebastian brushes the tip of his nose against mine. I shiver at the contact. "You seem to be a tad flustered, my lord..." he coos provocatively. I receive a chaste kiss on the lips before he shifts me so that my head is resting on a fluffy pillow.  
  
The sheet covering my naked body has slipped off, and Sebastian's eyes blaze as they travel the length of my virgin body. "You are so _beautiful..._ " he whispers appreciatively, trailing his fingertips down my chest and stomach. My cheeks flush with shyness and I draw my legs up in an attempt to hide myself. Sebastian frowns slightly. He casually does away with his last piece of clothing and joins me in bed, on top of me.  _Oh my God..._ I gape at his impressive length until he tilts my chin up so I have no choice but to meet his captivating stare. "Master..." his voice is soft, reassuring, "you have nothing to hide. I  _adore_  you..." Sebastian kisses me passionately, leaving me overwhelmed with sensation. He whispers softly in my ear, "...and I intend to savor every inch of your delicious body..." Sebastian's brazen words send breathtaking shivers up my spine and my self-doubt vanishes. I can feel the heat radiating from his body. It's intoxicating.  
  
Sebastian licks my ear, then my neck, and I toss my head back against the pillow to give him easier access to my skin. He slowly leaves a trail of hot kisses across my collarbone, nipping gently as he goes. I practically squirm underneath him, consumed with desire, my body craving what only he can give. Sebastian licks and sucks his way down my hungry body, and suddenly he grabs my hips so I can't move. I feel him smirk against the over-sensitized skin right below my navel.  _Oh my..._ I've never wanted anything so badly in my life, and I know that only he can give me what I so desperately need. "Oh, Sebastia–ah!" I gasp when I feel Sebastian's tongue glide up my length. He suddenly takes me in his mouth, sucking hard, gazing up at me with desire.  _Oh God, I can't watch..._ I close my eyes tightly; this is just too embarrassing.  
  
He does something with his lips and tongue that makes my toes curl with pleasure. Then I feel his wet fingers pressing against my virgin entrance. An involuntary moan escapes my lips and I raise my hand to cover my mouth. Sebastian instantly grabs my arm and raises his head to look at me. The intensity of his stare makes me freeze, and I somehow end up with my wrists pinned above my head and Sebastian straddling me. "Please don't hold back, my lord… I want to hear you…" Sebastian coos into my ear. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. Just relax and enjoy it, master…" he reassures me, but I still feel uneasy. "Umm, Sebastian… can you stop calling me that?"  
  
My demonic butler raises an eyebrow at the request. "May I ask why?" he questions. I try to avoid looking at him but I'm drawn to his glowing red eyes. They resemble orbs of swirling molten glass dipped in crimson blood, and they're utterly hypnotizing. It's quite distracting… "Well, I just… I don't want you to think of me… as your master right now…" I reply with uncertainty, then add with hesitation, "I want you to see me as your… lover," my voice splinters at the final word.  _Dear God, what the hell am I saying?! That I want him to love me? Are demons even capable of love?_ My thoughts race and I quickly add, "S-so just call me Ciel, alright?" I look up at him timidly and see his lips curl up with a smile.  
  
He leans in closer and releases my wrists, his hands gently caressing my face and hair. Sebastian brushes his nose against my cheek affectionately. The mood has changed completely, and I feel myself relax underneath Sebastian's body as he rests his weight on me. I quiver at the intimacy of this moment, and I don't know what to do or say. I just want to be his. I just want him to love me. "Ciel..." he purrs into my ear. My heart pounds so hard I feel it echoing through his chest and back to mine. "Mmm, Sebastia—" he cuts me off with a sweet, soft kiss. It feels so different than before, and it takes my breath away.  
  
I wrap my arms around him and return the kiss; it's not out of lust, but out of pure need for each other. I finally break away to catch my breath, and I gaze up into Sebastian's eyes. They're glowing even brighter than before. I open my mouth to speak but close it again, then open and close it once more, like a pathetic fish gasping for air. The question is hanging on my lips but remains there in silence.  _Do you love me? Do you really love me, Sebastian?_ I ask him with my eyes. I never realized how much Sebastian means to me until this moment. He simply smiles and leans in close. "Yes," he whispers, "I do. Always…"


End file.
